Here is some stupid headlines:
FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?
PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
EYE DROPS OFF SHELF
SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM
ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES
KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS
TWO SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE
DEER KILL 17,000
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETARY; HUNDREDS DEAD
MAN STUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE