Here is some stupid headlines:

FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

EYE DROPS OFF SHELF

SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM

ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE

TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES

KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS

TWO SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE

DEER KILL 17,000

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETARY; HUNDREDS DEAD

MAN STUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE